A Sexulator - Sex Calculator and Calendar
Why you want it: If he says you’re not having enough sex…you can politely whip out your phone and say “au contraire” with one flash of your app. The calendar on this app will not only discretely allow you to keep track of how often you’ve gotten lovin', but you can stipulate what kind of relations you had (i.e. Heart = Sex; Lips – Kissing/Making out; “O” = Oral sex; “M” = Multiple partners). If anything, this app should help encourage a more active sex life -- the stats, averages and calculations you input create your sexual ranking so if you’re missing sack sessions for sleep, your mojo average drops. No one wants to be told they’re a sexual underachiever, right? You can also calculate how much sex you’ve had during the last three months by entering dates in the “Calculator.” Punch in your stats and see how you rank.
Download it now: $1.99 at iTunes and Android Market
Spice Dice
Why you want it: This app is a digital version of real-life adult sexy dice. Think of it as strip Yahtzee…or something like that. There are several dirty digital dice apps out there but upon investigation, we decided the Spice Dice app from Durex (yes, the condom makers) was the most interesting thanks to its fun categories: Romantic, Foreplay, Sexual or Kinky. The “Romantic” options are very tame. “Foreplay” gets a little saucier. “Sexual" starts getting steamy with position how-to’s. And “Kinky”? Our first two rolls were “Oral in the Shower” and “Video Al Fresco.” Now we’re talking! Go ahead, shake your iPhone to activate the app and you might just rattle and roll.
Download it now: Free at iTunes
Sexometer Lite
Why you want it: When it comes to sex, it’s hard not to be graphic and this app takes that literally. Sexometer Lite will actually record your sack session and then chart your prowess on a corresponding graph. It’s official…your iPhone has invaded your privacy (at least if you invite it into bed with you). To get your sexometer rating, place the phone on the bed, press start and go at it. After you climax, hit stop and the app will generate a report. When we tested it (which consisted of some pretend moans and rhythmic hits for a minute), the app chided us with “Already finished?” But lengthier and more vocal sessions could score you “quick and dirty” or “sexmachine” status. This app also includes a “Map” function to remind you of the location of any really good sex (so you can relive that awesome kitchen romp). If you feel compelled to gloat, you can upgrade to a 99-cent version which allows you to post your graphs to Facebook. We say ewww to TMI! Do everyone a favor and stick with the free version and keep your privates off FB.
Download it now: Free at iTunes
Adult Have You Ever
Why you want it: This game will encourage everyone involved to divulge their dirtiest little secrets. Perfect for a party (of two or more), this app switches between players with each subsequent question. Questions we got during our have-you-ever session included: “Have you ever had sex with someone and you can’t remember their name?” “Have you ever made out with another girl?” “Have you ever humped something that wasn’t meant to be humped a la American Pie?” and “Have you ever gone out clubbing without wearing panties?” This app might focus on the past but learning about your partner’s kinkiest escapades can be a real turn on and give you a hint or two about how far you can take it with each other.
Download it now: $1.99 at iTunes
iKamasutra Lite
Why you want it: Interested in the Wild, Wild East? Then it might be time to bring a little iKamasutra Lite into your sex life. This app includes 30 Kama Sutra moves neatly organized into nine different categories (6-9, Cowgirl, Doggie style, etc.) each tastefully drawn and explicitly explained. It’s a perfect introduction to thousands of years of Kama Sutra experimentation. And this app has some fun features like a “Star” icon to demarcate your faves and a handy “To Do” list (yeah, we suspect the double is intentional). The illustrations are pretty good, which you will definitely need since some of these moves look like the female should be wearing a helmet and elbow pads. You can also track your progress from Novice to Grand Master (a title we think anyone would be proud to achieve). Once you reach that level, you might want to upgrade to the 99-cent iKamasutra version to get 110 moves.
Download it now: free at iTunes or Android Market
1001+ Free Sex Facts
Why you want it: With this app you can find out all kinds of sexual trivia that you probably never needed to know, but will actually find interesting. For example, did you know that former French President Francois Faure expired in a bordello in 1899 during the act of copulation which so terrified his lady that her vagina constricted intractably, necessitating the surgical removal of the dead man’s member? Okay even if that’s not entirely historically accurate (who knows?) it sure is entertaining and can lead to great conversation. We were also intrigued by the claim that people who chew a lot of ice have a higher sex drive. Grabs a few cubes and test it out! Also, did you know 48 percent of men and women have faked an orgasm at least once in his or her life? If anything, this app will provide plenty of conversation starters.
Download it now: $2.99 at iTunes
Kissing Test
Why you want it: Sometimes you just need an icebreaker. If you’re not comfortable jumping into sexy dice right away, try this kiss rater first. Ask him if he's a good kisser and then have him kiss your app to prove it! Seriously, as cheesy as it sounds, this app might make the most memorable opening line ever. You have to be willing to let your iPhone be covered with cooties, but it’s a small price to pay for a lot of laughs and instant conversation. Here’s how it works: the player kisses the screen (yes, actually kisses it) and the phone tells you how good of a kisser he/she is. On our first try we got “Irresistible. Anyone kissing you will come back for a second round.” Second try, we got “Playful. Your kisses are silly and playful.” This can go on for quite a while thanks to basic human competitiveness. But the best part is that it’s an easy jump from lip-to-screen to lip-to-lip once the kissing barrier has been broken.
Download it now: Free on iTunes
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